Time again for family and Christmas music ringing out and making the heart smile with warmth....but also at this time of the month comes the dreaded EXAMS O_o
That word strikes terror into the heart of every college student. With exams comes stress, frustration, but eventually, triumph.
I am coming up to my last week at RBC this year and am more than happy to put it behind me. Today was my last week of classes and Monday starts my week of exams. The thought of the studying to come sends my heart plummeting towards the floor, though the thought of what is to come (a time to breath and re-energize) is a blessing.
I have made it through this semester with minimum emotional breakdowns and lots of joyful days. Not having Andrew there or knowing I could not call him about my day has been a challenge, but other then feeling a bit lonely, I think I have mastered it well. Tony has been by my side every second and has given me the strength I need to go on and the courage I need to face the future. Josh V. has kept in touch and often brings me back when I start to feel down. I have rekindled an old friendship in my dear and most lovely friend, Erin. She has been that women with whom I can confide and we have made it though many trials together over these past few months. Rachel and the siblings have been steadfast as always and I have become very close to my little brother (who is no longer so little anymore at almost 17!) which has been nothing less than a joy. Bea, Tiffany, Lauren, Kaitlyn, and may others have also become involved in my life over the last few months. And though my social life has been almost non-existent, the people supporting me have been constant and greatly appreciated.
Over the last few months my relationship with my parents has improved and they have even been nice to dear Tony, though they are not yet ready to let him into their lives.
This year is coming to an end with a bitter-sweet feel as I have been through many painful events in the last 12 months...but through it all, my friends and family have stuck by me. Though I no longer have the relationship that I had once depended on for security, I have found more then I could have imagined in the people still in my life.
This support has been nothing short than sent from God.
So as exams are only days away and life seems to be coming at me faster than I can handle, I am at peace. It's like the ocean is raging and waves make it hard to see, but if you dive under you are surrounded by a incomparable calm. Suddenly all the coziness above you is gone and you can once again relax and refocus as below the billowing storm, you can see clearly once again. This is the best way I can describe it. Even though things are rough right now, if I find that mental place of calm, I am always reminded in my heart that everything will be okay. God is good, all the time <3
